TRANFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN
(12A) 147mins
THE rule Michael Bay applied to his Transformers sequel is if the original made £350million then don't, er, transform it.
Stunning ... Megan Fox
DreamWorks LLC and Paramount Pictures.
Understandable as that is, this re-run of the previous thrills and spills displays a disappointing lack of ambition.
Shia Labeouf's heroic Sam again finds himself holding the key to a powerful energy source being sought at all costs by baddie robots the Decepticons.
And goodie robots the Autobots again kick rear spoiler as they seek to protect Sam.
A US bureaucrat again fears the Autobots are the problem, there is a replica shoot-up at the Witwicky household and, yes, our first view of Megan Fox is from behind in her hotpants.
Most of the male teen audience would have asked for their money back if Bay hadn't shown that shot of Fox, who plays Sam's girlfriend Mikaela.
A lot of tongue-in-cheek fun is had with Fox's sex goddess status.
A cute little enemy robot tries to hump her leg and in another scene she dresses in a burka.
It's silly moments like this and some spectacular visual effects which earn Transformers 2 three hats. Without them it would have been unbearable.
Hero ... Shia LaBeouf
Just like Gordon Brown, this film outstays its welcome. There is no need for a movie based on a kid's toy to last two and a half hours.
Bay again weighs the featherlight plot down with unimportant, annoying characters.
The worst offender being Sam's college dorm mate who is forever wimpering that he doesn't want to die. The Sneak was hoping he would.
Also, for anyone unfamiliar with the various robots in disguise, it is very difficult to tell the goodies and baddies apart.
They are though, at least, a welcome relief from all the nerdy nonsense about keys, matrixes and symbols that dominate the climax.
What started out as mega fun, finishes as a mega drag.
BEST LINE: A mini robot telling Mikaela "You're hot, but you sure ain't too bright."
BEST CHARACTER: Bumblebee, the sports-car-turned-robot, has more depth than the human cast.
FAMILY RATING: Mild swearing and violence.
BUM NUMBNESS: It'll hurt your bot.
Rating: Three hats.
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