Sorry, geeks, but it looks like I have some bad news for you. Your days of glory may be coming to an end.
The 00s have been extremely kind to you. Ever since Spider-Man's record-breaking box office run back in 2002, you've held your own kind of superpower, one with much more practical real world uses than the ability to sling webs. You've been wielding the awesome power of being the most coveted demographic in Hollywood. From X2 to 300 to Iron Man, you've been setting trends and turning films into pop culture crazes. You've had the biggest movie stars in the world begging on their knees for your attention at Comic-Con every year. And thanks to Heath Ledger's performance in The Dark Knight, you got to see your favorite movie of the year get invited to the ultimate cool kids' party, the Oscars. But I'm starting to worry that it may be all downhill for you from here.
My fear for you started this past Monday, when I read that Watchmen had made $55 million in its opening weekend. This is by no means a weak performance, but it's certainly lower than what was expected. And when you take into account all the hype -- the heavy advertising, the dramatic legal battle, the threats to boycott X-Men Origins: Wolverine if Fox prevented the film from being released this weekend -- that number really should've been higher. A lot higher. You geeks promised we were all going to love this movie. You told us it would be an outrage and a travesty if the studio battle prevented us from seeing it. You even got me to read a graphic novel for the first time in my life out of anticipation for this movie. But those opening numbers, the mixed reviews, and the 64% grade it got at Rotten Tomatoes are telling me that you geeks may have steered me wrong this time.
I'd be more forgiving if I thought you had something else cool to show me coming up soon, but the truth is you really don't. Wolverine might be promising, but you don't need to be a geek to enjoy Hugh Jackman. Star Trek looks like it might be cool, but "Trekkie" is still a dirty word in mainstream culture. Also, I'm so over the idea of Spider-Man 4, and it hasn't even begun shooting yet. The Dark Knight had me ready to pledge my undying allegiance to the kingdom of geekdom, but you can only watch a DVD so many times and it looks like we're going to have a long wait for the sequel. Who knows if Christian Bale will even come back for it now? The fame you geeks brought him has led to bigger and better movie roles, but it's also been a huge headache for him and he could be feeling a little resentful about that. You're going to have to face the fact that Batman might not be around to save you the next time you get shoved into a locker. (Editor's Note And don't even get us started on Transformers 2 or G.I. Joe ...)
I'm sorry if I sound a bit harsh here, but I've really enjoyed our time together and feel I owe it to you to be honest. Everyone who's ever enjoyed a stint of popularity eventually has to learn the tough lesson that it can and will be taken from you on a moment's notice. No one can stay popular forever, not even if you do have superpowers.
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